that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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