that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
