I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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