I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
