Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
