You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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