So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
