For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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