If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
