guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
