Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
