I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
