You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
we have pet lesbian snakes
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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