you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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