She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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