I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
