This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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