vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I think my nap took me to another dimension
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
