The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
