I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Sext me about skeletons
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
