Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just had sex on a roof
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
