What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
