this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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