i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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