So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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