Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
soo... how was my night?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
