Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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