Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
