I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize