New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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