she looked like the bat from fern gully.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
