dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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