So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
