Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
