Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
