its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
