she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize