all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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