Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
