I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
