If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
