Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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