i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
