so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
