On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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