yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
