so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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