Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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