I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
