i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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