i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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