5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
