i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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