I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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