oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
