dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
