Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
