It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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