Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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